We’re more often than not burdened by how people perceive us and how we want to be perceived. And to influence the way others see us means we have to be wide awake at all times, that is fully aware of our behavior. So we choose to sweep the dirt under the rug because we either ignore and deny our problems or want to conceal from public view something we find unappealing, humiliating or harmful to our reputation.

However, our unconsciousness is quite a wicked player (read: jerk!), which means there’s often a discrepancy between what we say and do. In other words, our non-verbal communication speaks volumes about us (and who gave you permission, if I may ask?). Our body language is irrefutable evidence of our guilt, if you will, i.e. to sugar coat it (ok, ok, just a little. I do have a sweet tooth, you know), a pretty strong indicator of how we think and feel.

In my previous couple of posts (THE ART OF BEING HONEST and DO NEUROTICS HAVE A DAY OFF?), I kinda asked my therapist friend to help me interpret my non-verbal communication. I gotta admit it’s not easy to be me sometimes (ok, most of the time). I don’t always understand my actions and reactions myself, let alone people around me (poor them!) Anyhow, those were more rhetorical questions (and way too much to ask). Besides, I’m too poor to afford a shrink in Germany. So I took it upon myself to perform my body (read: brain and heart) scan with the help of the psychological articles and tests I found (where else?!) on the web. Hail, Internet!


Even though my physical behavior surely conveys loads of information, I bet I won’t get answers to the questions like ‘what the heck is wrong with me,’ ‘why I am so messed up,’ ‘am I mendable or irrevocably damaged i.e. a lost case’(you see, I’m not sugarcoating it this time).  But, I do hope it’ll help me embrace my vulnerability so that I could put up with myself easier (or at least make myself more presentable).

Read next: 2 possible scenarios…

Author: Blogging_with_Bojana

I'm diggin' Need to grow, have to push Flicking through vinyl and feeding the rush I dig for that one and I open the haunt It's takin' all day from the back to the front I'm diggin' and diggin' You know Sorry baby I'm gone diggin'

49 thoughts on “SURFACING”

  1. Il y a certainement chez toi, au fond de toi, un “non-dit”! Laisse passer l’orage, dis-toi que tes belles années sont devant toi, même si cela doit t’obliger à faire le ménage dans ta vie.
    Liberté ! Sois libre de tes choix et tu as le droit à l’erreur, tu es trop exigeante avec toi je trouve.
    Bien à toi

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You ask yourself the same questions I ask myself all the time! ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ That’s the million dollar question. I do not believe that you are irrevocably damaged, especially when you are seeking to understand yourself. That tells me that you are well on your way to acceptance and embracing all the parts of you. All of them are what make you so beautiful! xo

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I kind of dropped off the face of the earth, and wasn’t reading blogs (SORRY) because I was a bit of a mess. I am finally starting to feel like myself again and am trying to catch up with everybody. I struggle, too, that’s why I know you are going to be okay. You are! Get some rest and you take care as well!!

        Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m trying to figure myself out. It’s a hard job.
      Staying late is currently not on my schedule. My kid doesn’t really sleep thru the night, so I tend to go to bed as early as possible myself to catch up on some sleep. What being a mom does to u is turning a night owl into an early morning bird.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How young is you baby? I didn’t/couldn’t have children, it ok by me. I’ve always said some people should not have children and my mother was one. Sounds harsh but that’s a hard fucking job and someone who abuses their child should not have any.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know what you mean. I never planned a kid; it just happened. I thought I wasn’t cut out for the job, but turns out I’m doing fine. He’s currently the only light I see in this fucking tunnel I got stuck in. He just turned 21.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. 21…..why the hell you going to bed early for him? Momma never stop thinking of their children, everyday hoping for the best for them, want them to be a good honest stand up person. At 21 you can surely see what’s in his eyes. It’s you needed the sleep, to rest your brain. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person



    Gesendet: Sonntag, 05. November 2017 um 18:45 Uhr Von: "BOJANA’S COFFEE & CONFESSIONS TO GO" <> An: Betreff: [New post] SURFACING

    Blogging_with_Bojana posted: "We’re more often than not burdened by how people perceive us and how we want to be perceived. And to influence the way others see us means we have to be wide awake at all times, that is fully aware of our behavior. So we choose to sweep the dirt under the"

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a very interesting blogger to be able to open up about yourself isn’t easy to do. I do enjoy reading bloggers posts, but sometimes I want something with more substance and that’s where I can get it from you 😊 When I was younger I used to question what’s wrong with me because I never felt like everyone, I never tried to follow the crowd. I had my own path. We all have our own path, but I felt everyone had a clear path compared to me. Nowadays I try to embrace that I shouldn’t always conform to what society expects. Not saying I would go off the rails 😛 But I want to do what works for me and is best for me 😊 I wrote a lot as you can tell 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s so true that our body language gives us away. But as for you thinking there’s something wrong with you, anyone who is “normal” is only normal on the surface. Underneath we’re all full of self-doubt and self-criticism to some degree. With your ability to express yourself, I don’t think you’re damaged. Just don’t convince yourself that you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I appreciate it. I was more thinking of my moody swings, nagging, anxiety etc. which again are said to influence many people worldwide. Mine have lasted over a period of time and worsened this year, which was full of stress, so again that’s probably a normal reaction of the body.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How our moods and anxiety give us away is even more interesting. It’s difficult to hide who you are and there’s really no point. It’s who is you are at that moment in time. When my husband went to vote last week, he saw his signature from when he was 18. He was amazed how different it is today. It’s a much more open and free signature, so even that reflects our moods and anxieties. It’s really amazing.

        Liked by 1 person

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