In my previous couple of posts, I voluntarily agreed to serve as my own guinea pig. Consequently, I began to dissect moi. I namely allowed some sort of a psychological experiment to be performed on me with the help of dozens of articles, psycho-tests and studies I had found on the topic. Numerous trainers, coaches and therapists aided me in the effort to analyze the non-verbal body language I habitually use, at least the gestures I’m conscious of, like frequent blinking, playing with my hair, scratching my nose, touching my ears and mouth, rubbing my eyes and palms, looking away, raising my eyebrows, crossing my arms and legs, putting my hands in my pockets etc.
I figure, things are not quite as gloomy as they look. Some people, myself including, have just developed bad habits. Even greatest people use such hand/leg gestures so this doesn’t really prove anything, does it?
You’re doing it again.
Running away. Hiding. Defending, Explaining, Justifying yourself.
I am not. Plus, a professional coach said that ‘body language signals should always be read in clusters for more accuracy.’
Yes, precisely. It depends on quite a few factors, such as the situation and company we’re in (do we feel comfortable or not), then our mood and so on and so forth.
OK, maybe I am. Big deal. Who isn’t?
This is about you, not other people, so stop comparing. Besides, these are the cons we’re discussing here, remember? So shut your mouth and let me finish this. God you’re annoying! If you’re more into bragging, you need to go one step back.
OK, knock yourself out.
Hem-hem (throat cleaning)
Where was I? Yes, this is what my online self study showed.
WORST CASE SCENARIO (or ‘when the body closes, so does the mind’):
As Freud explained it, ‘virtually all speech errors are caused by the intrusion of repressed ideas from the unconscious into one’s conscious speech output’ (thanks Ziggy, you’re a real pal). That’s why I’m often tense, impatient (hence fidgety and restless), vulnerable, uneasy, agitated and in distress. I often don’t know how to relieve persisting feelings of frustration, stress and sadness. I have difficulty opening up to people. I’m often reserved, untrustworthy, suspicious, and reluctant to change my mind (hence my ‘you didn’t convince me’ face/attitude). When I lock (e.g. my ankles), I’m mentally biting my lip. Gosh, this is scaring me. It’s getting serious, doesn’t it?
My body language generally reveals a defensive attitude and a wish to be protected (or at least not attacked), as well as a desire to wipe my worries away, i.e. unwillingness to express certain thoughts and emotions. I hate to lose control, thus choosing self-soothing acts which offer me a sense of comfort and security.
I am the Female Alpha: dominant, demanding, authoritative and bossy. I can be passive-aggressive and aggressive at times. I am angry at life for the disappointments or abuse I have suffered.
Next, I unconsciously feel the need to frequently moisten my lips because tension reduces saliva flow. Furthermore, licking my lips shows I crave something (be it a kiss, love or just chocolate). I am flirtatious. Guilty as charged.
However (this list is getting longer and longer), I symbolically deny any access to my genitals (Back off, will you? Can’t you see my chastity belt?), namely when I feel insecure and want to withdraw emotionally from the conversation. I am an introvert, energized by being alone. OK, I’m confused now. How can an extrovert be an introvert at the same time? (Make sure you look into it.)
I can’t turn off. I have to work. I strive for flawlessness and setting high performance standards (trust me, perfectionism is a curse, not a blessing). If I’m not satisfied with the outcome or fail to reach my goal, I get depressed. I always think twice. I prefer logic and forethought to making spur-of-the-moment decisions (which can be quite boring sometimes).
Huh. This was exhausting for you too, right? How do you think I feel?
Now, mind if I pick your brain?